Try this when in Dilemma

When in doubts and nothing is working, no alternative comes to mind. Can we still find a way out? A famous proverb says that where there is a will there is a way. Very often when we face a problem, we tend to react to it on the basis of our past experiences and hence block our ability to think and create new possibilities. One’s ability to broaden his / her perspective towards the problem and life gives the access to higher creativity and sense possibilities beyond the prevailing state of mind.

There is a very interesting way of doing it that has helped me and many others whom I have suggested. In the beginning it may seem very childish and unconvincing, but the psychology behind this method works similar as explained in the first para and the results are sometimes spontaneous. This method can give you an answer to your problem, but to follow that answer will take your own will to solve it and your own guts to face it. But when finding a solution seems bigger than following it, I think this method works great.

Very often we hear that it is very easy to advice others but difficult to follow ourselves. We will use this proverb to solve our dilemmas.

Confused? Bear this confusion for a while. I’ll explain how it will work. Why is it so easy to advice others when they are in trouble and are unable to see a solution? The reason is that since we look at the problems of others from outside of its influence and being detached, it becomes easier to develop alternatives. We struggle to find solutions because we are attached to the problem and look at it from beneath that makes the magnitude of the problem bigger and the perspective smaller.

An interesting approach to solve our problems through this learning is – Sit in a quiet place. Take 3 deep breaths with inhaling through nose and exhaling through mouth. Now we have to do a role-play exercise. Think of your problem and all the people associated with it. Now replace all the names by only relationships (for Example … Mr X to father, Ms Y to Mother, Ms Z to sister, Mr A to friend etc…), Also replace yourself with any of your known acquaintance or person. The idea here is that now after replacing these names including yours. You are looking at the problem as not yours but someone else’s. This new substituted person (be your friend or acquaintance) has brought this problem to you and you need to advise him / her. I understand that this needs good imaginative power but can still be done with practice. It may seem silly, but you will be amazed with its results.… Now see what advice you give to this person. This is exactly what you need to do yourself.

What we have done here is firstly, by replacing all the names by only relations we have detached ourselves from the problem and then by advising to other, is where we are increasing our perspective to see the problem. The solution that appears may be daunting to follow, but trust me, it will be the most appropriate at that moment….

Try this and see the magic …… It may have varied results from people to people. But why not try when nothing is working…. It’s worth it.

Sending Love. Laughter & Joy….. Parth Sharma

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