Unconditional Love – A Reality or Myth?

Ritika was feeling exited to meet her college friends after a long time. They all finally reconnected through Facebook. In order to live the nostalgic moments again they met around their college campus. It was the Girls Gang meeting after a long time, anything least expected was the high cheers and endless stories to catch-up with. By now either some were settled in their marriage or others were mostly committed in a relationship. Ritika was in the second category, committed to a software engineer Sumeet. Girls were excitingly sharing their love stories with each other, when Ritika suddenly went silent. One of her friend asked her that tell me What does Sumeet like about you? Ritika strangely had no answer for this, as she never asked him. They were so busy in working out their future plans that Ritika never asked Sumeet about Why does he love her?

The girl’s day out ended and Ritika on the way back decided to meet Sumeet, as subconsciously the question was daunting her mind that she doesn’t even know why he loves her? As they met, Ritika was prompt to ask Sumeet and kept insisting on the reasons.  Sumeet was trying to escape the question by saying that ‘I love you without any reason’. Ritika was surely not taking this for an answer and kept insisting to be specific with the reasons to love her. Finally breaking to Ritika’s compulsion he said – “I love you because you care for me, I love you because your smile makes me feel that life is easy with you, I love you because your company gives me strength”.

Ritika was all happy and overwhelmed to hear her praise. She decided to share it with one of her re-united friend. She drove as fast as possible out of happiness and excitement. Her ecstasy with the answer was so high that she didn’t see the incoming car from other side of the road and eventually collided in to it.

She was rushed to the hospital with the local help in unconscious state and Sumeet was informed by the hospital staff through the latest dialled numbers in her mobile. Sumeet rushed immediately to the hospital in fear, but was relieved to know that fortunately she was able to avoid any major injury, but was unconscious because of the shock and will anytime regain her consciousness. Sumeet wrote something on a piece of paper and kept aside her pillow.

The paper read following lines – “Now since you can’t care for me, why should I Love you? Now since you can’t smile for me then why should I love you? Now since you are not there with me then why should I love you? …………………. Then at the end Sumeet wrote ……………. ‘Do you still think I need a reason to love you?… I always loved you without any reason and will continue to love you like that”.

Unconditional love is one of the most discussed and wondered topic in Spiritual and Self-Development researches. Let’s examine it in a holistic perspective. Where Ritika and people like her weather be a girl or a boy go wrong is in the perspective of Love.

Love is not an expected Behaviour to be displayed or an Act to be performed. Love is also not a state of mind. It is simply the quality of the living beings. An action or behaviour can always be conditional basis the external stimuli, but the innate quality will always be unconditional. What seems conditional to us today is merely the expression of love. The underlying quality of the human being is always unconditional. Weather it is the love for parents, elders, brothers, sisters, friends or even animals. The love for them will always be unconditional at core. It is only when the expressed behaviour is expected that makes it look conditional.

Don’t you still feel love for those who have left you for heavens? Does that love come from the outside? No, it’s from the same human quality. The problem arise when we start believing in our expression of love as ‘Love’. It’s important to understand that everybody in this world will not be having the same expression of love.

I remember a friend of mine complaining that his father never hugs him and love him. Rather he keeps interfering in his routine and enquires about his daily departures and arrivals at home. When he comes back late, his dad is awake and waits for him. When I asked him about his father’s history I discovered that his father lost his mother when he was very young. So his father grew up with men and perhaps never saw that expression of love himself. That can possibly be the reason that his expression of love is in form of his worry for his child and he doesn’t even know or understand the expression of hugging as a medium of showering love.

Love as a quality of Human being is always unconditional it is the expectations of its expression and wrong identification with that as ‘Love’,  makes it conditional and unreal. It is very important to realize this distinction that our ability to love is our quality that every human being is blessed with.

Sending Love, Laughter and Joy ….. Parth

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